No Wife Of Mine!

 

Woo! Hoo!! It’s Friday!!!!

My Hunny's Chicken

I just love Choking my Hunny’s Chicken. - Hoodia J.

Tastes Like Chicken

Hillbilly Ice Cream

Hillbilly Ice Cream

1/2 Cup of Whole Milk

1 Tbsp. Sugar

1/4 Tsp. Vanilla (you can try other flavors)

Directions:
Add these to a pint size Ziplock freezer bag and zip shut. Place that bag in a larger (quart or bigger) Ziplock bag. Add ice to fill bag 1/2 way, plus 6 tablespoons salt (rock or regular). Zip that one shut and shake, turn, toss and mix the bag. In about 5-10 minutes you will have cold hands and yummy ice cream!

Comments:
Don't try to double this, as it doesn't seem to work. Be sure you get all of the salt off of the small bag before you open it.

Bud Lite - The Terminator

Goes to show you that alcohol can ruin yer day! - Hoodia J.

Anul Bleaching, WT?

Anul Bleaching goes perfect with that Anul Jewellery you got fer your sweety.



Ther sure is a lot of sicko's in this world. - C. J.

Dave's Theory Of Relativity:

The value of money is relative to the amount of money that you have.

El Stupido - From The Chronicles Of Enis (Puffy) Jones

Ten years ago, I was roofing vacant homes in Buffet, Nevada. It was the sweetest commute imaginable. I'd wake-up, make breakfast, climb a ladder, and BAM! I was at work.

Two things Buffet has is sand and dirt. Front yards; sand and dirt. Back yards; sand and dirt. Space between homes; sand and dirt. Guess what the roads are made of. Yeah.

In fact, it was so prevalent that it was constantly being exchanged by dust devils. These tiny tornadoes were always wandering aimlessly about, coming tantalizingly close to, but never engaging me. You see, I've always been a reckless sort. Personal risk is something I will happily wager for the prospect of fun.

My idea was simple: Jump into the first Devil of formidable size. Not some weak little twister that could only get me dirty. I wanted a contender.

About a month in, my little Mexican helper Joaquin cried out “Miguel! Look! Look!” And there it was. . . a monster. My monster. It was probably 500 ft. high with a 30 ft. foot print, and it was heading straight for us. I looked at Joaquin and said “I'm goin' in!” To which he replied “Nooo Miguel, noooo”. At this point I must tell you, Joaquin was a very reluctant accomplice.

Down the ladder I went, two steps at a time. As I ran towards it and heard the roar, I have to say I had second thoughts. Stupidity got the best of me though and so eager was I to interact with this behemoth, in I rushed.

Instantly all the air was sucked out of my lungs. My eyes were filled with high-velocity sand and what breath I could draw was just the detritus from the tornado. As the twister put me in its center, the feeling of being planted firmly on the ground was diminishing and something wanted my body to spin.

The violence of this thing was so intense I wondered to myself, Could one of these kill someone? I mean, has anyone ever died inside a dust devil?

When it finally released me, I went down onto my hands and knees, choking and gagging, and mud streaming down my cheeks. Joaquin rushed to my side and said frantically “I couldn't see you, I thought you were gone!” To which I gasped “I'd like to do that again” Joaquin just shook his head and muttered “Estupido”.

George Carlin

"Just think how stupid the average person is,
and then realize that half of them
are even stupider!"
-- George Carlin